So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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