I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
