Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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