Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
