physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize