He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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