Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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