My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
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Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
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in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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