it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
