It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We have started to decorate penises.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
