What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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