you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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