idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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