your parents love me but you hate me
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
