Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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