is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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