As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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