please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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