So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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