its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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