I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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