How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
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he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
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I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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