did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
