my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize