made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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