i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
