So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
