im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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