Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
