pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
