I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
