Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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