champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
