i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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