i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
