yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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