some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
