I just made out with a guy for $7.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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