I showed him my bush... on skype.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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