i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
