im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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