it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I will be naked everywhere
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I can't put those talents on a resume
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
