Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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