some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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