Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
false alarm, still single
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