i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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