Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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