She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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