We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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