I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
