He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So. Much. Porn.
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