it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize