pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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