I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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