If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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