Having a random hookup so left but love u
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
