Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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