yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
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ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
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You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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